Having an Open Bar Versus a Cash Bar at Your Wedding

This is a seriously touchy subject for me. Being the “straight shooter” that I am and the queen of no b.s. in my business that I will stand my ground on the few issues I am very passionate about. I so vehemently against a cash bar at a wedding that I will flatly turn down planning a wedding where there will be one and the couple will not consider other options.

You wouldn’t invite people to your home for a party and ask them to pay at the bar would you? (If you would you probably wouldn’t be reading this or even consider a wedding planner anyway so I guess it doesn’t matter.)

In my 16 years of weddings I have seen only 1 wedding that had a cash bar and it was perfectly acceptable but this is the ONLY situation where it can be done, when executed properly of course. I attended a wedding that was held on the second floor of a popular restaurant and lounge that was set aside for special events or open to the public if it was not reserved. It also had a barrier so uninvited guests could not enter.

The issue came up because this beautiful room with amazing waterfront views had its own full bar set up that could not be removed. The couple was paying for a chunk of the wedding themselves and the groom didn’t drink at all and much of his family didn’t either but the couple didn’t want to take the alcohol completely out of the party. What they did was allow non alcoholic drinks, beer and white and red wine to be offered for free and everything else was cash.

So the point that I am making here is that the reason this was not tacky or inappropriate because the liquor itself could not be removed from the guests view. It would be hard to tell Uncle Jack that he couldn’t have his martini if he saw the ingredients for one sitting 5 feet in front of him and not give him the option to pay for it if he wanted it that badly.

More to the point if someone hadn’t brought cash to the wedding, which many people do not, then they could have imbibed all night long on wine and beer for free. Had there not been a full bar set up or if it could have been removed, the couple would have only served the “free” beverages and still had a wonderful party, which it was.

There are ways around cash bars and I suggest to everyone who even gets a slight thought of having one out of their head unless you want to appear cheap. Your guests took time out of their lives to reserve this day for you, get dressed up (and paid for their outfits if they are in the wedding party), sit through sometimes a long ceremony, Buy you a gift, cash or a check (or many if again they are in the wedding party) and don’t’ forget that many of them may have had to travel. Or maybe they all had to travel if you had the wedding far away from your home or a destination wedding.

Now you may be thinking “Well yeah they did do all of those things but I’m throwing a party that they are agreeing to come to that costs me $100 plus a head so why should I pay for them to get drunk too, especially if I or my future spouse/family doesn’t drink?” You know why? Because it’s polite and really will help to get the party started, especially with those who like to get down and boogie after a glass or two of champagne. (I’ll cover bar options in another post so please stay tuned for my candid advice.)