Brains, Trains And The Local 5:15 To CooCooville

When we were separating, one of the comments my soon-to-be ex made to me was “You’ll never find another person like me ever again”. I Thought for a minute, and replied: “If I no longer want to be with YOU, why would I look for someone LIKE you? Duh. When God handed out brains my ex thought He said trains, and asked for a slow one.

You have to ask yourself why you might be considering parting ways because in most cases, if you are considering it, it is likely time to go. If you look at it objectively, it is an internal debate with yourself, weighing what was once good and what might be good again versus what is and what is not likely to change.

The process can be broken down into three steps: The Exit Strategy, The Interim Plan once you have made the split, and Managing Your New Life.

The Exit Strategy

Once you have hit the wall after begging and pleading, insisting and warning, you need to create what I call the Ben Franklin close. List on one side of the paper the behaviors that cause you to be thankful for the relationship. They can include being respectful, able to compromise, affectionate, shows sincere interest in how you feel or what you say, and so forth.

On the other side of your paper, list those behaviors that cause problems between you two. List these starting with behaviors that you are unwilling to compromise on, such as substance abuse, physical abuse and the like. Include the little things that on their own aren’t that big a deal but cumulatively show a lack of appreciation and commitment.

Is your negative list longer than your positive list? Have you discussed the negative behaviors without any long-term changes? Are you expecting a miracle that lightning will strike and make it all better? Assuming you have been upfront about these objections, and assuming the behaviors are not going to change, you need to accept reality. IT IS TIME TO GO.

The Interim Plan

Talk to a trusted friend, and ask how they planned their ‘escape’. Ask as many questions as you are allowed. What did they do right? What was over-looked? What would they do differently? Now ask another friend. Find a third friend and ‘interview them. If those friends divorced, ask if they were pleased with their attorney.

Select an attorney, and call for a free consultation. Take notes. Ask the attorney how he/she sees the process you will go through. How long will it take? What is the cost estimate? When must you appear in court? Engage (hire) an attorney, and begin to plan your separation. Follow the legal advice on how your spouse should be served legal notice. Develop a blueprint for your future.

Managing Your New Life

This may be the most difficult of the three steps. Your new life begins once you have separated, so Mission #1 is to Find Yourself in the ashes of the broken relationship. This will not be easy, because you have probably compromised your sense of self to keep the sinking ship afloat. I call this the Discovery Phase; because you are not the same person that married years ago, and you now need to determine what values have the most meaning to you.

You can do this the enlightened way, or the hard way. The enlightened way is to discover as much about why people do the things they do, and why you make decisions and judgments, the way YOU do. This will require much reading and introspection. The more you read, the better you will understand, and being empowered will go a long way to avoiding another train wreck.

Your ex may want to stay on the 5:15 to Coocooville, and keep you there, but it is time you exited at the next stop, and board the bullet train to personal happiness.

The Abc's Of Pleasing A Woman Sexually

Nothing can be more frustrating for a man, than having his woman reject his sexual needs. If you want to put an end with this cruel rejection, then you better wise-up! Sexually pleasing a woman requires little work, but the pay- off will be worth it. It will surely turn things around! So here are the ABCs of pleasing a woman

Affection- In pleasing a woman you have to begin outside the bedroom. Affection outside the bedroom is your perfect access to a steamy bedroom action. Pleasing a woman with affection includes lots of hugs, kisses, attention and helping with the dishes. Yes, you read it right. Nothing can make her feel appreciated, than a man who knows how to help with the chores.

Body talk- This is about sending her the message that you want her. It’s about dropping sexual hints. Building anticipation in pleasing a woman sexually is very effective. Do and say something sexy, whisper how irresistible she is, and then kiss her on the ear. It will give her goose bumps all over. Offer a sensuous massage. It will surely get her in the mood. So go ahead and tease her.

Connection- This is about physical and emotional contact. Pleasing a woman, make sure that you should never lose the connection. If you are face-to-face look into her eyes, eye contact makes every love-making special. Pay attention to her moves and her breathing, it will direct your next move. Better yet, ask her what she wants. Also be sure to keep a part of you body in contact with her. For instance, if you want to change positions and you need to remove both hands, keep you legs pressed against her. And so on.

Descend- Is about making her crazy with anticipation, a good crazy. Some men will race to make their woman climax, but not you. As soon as you heighten her arousal for climax, take a step back and make the arousal descend, then go again. Sounds cruel, but it will make the next arousal more pleasurable.

Excitement- Before you make her reach climax, be sure that her excitement level is at the top level. While you do your thing, continue kissing her on the neck or the shoulders, depending on your position. To intensify the sensation of kissing, extend the skin of the area you are kissing. For example, if you are kissing the neck area, gently extend the skin with your thumb.

Flesh- out- Women love it when you are working your way on a certain part of her. For instance, if you want to kiss her nipples, start playing outside the breast with your tongue. It will drive her crazy, but again, good crazy.

Go for it- In pleasing a woman sexually; just remember your alphabets and you will never get rejected again.